DIALECTICAL
EMOTIONS: ROSH HASHANAH 5773
Shira
Smiles shiur, September 2012
Summary
by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Rosh
Hashanah evokes two contradictory emotions in us. On the one hand,
there is
joy. After all, this is a yom tov and we are commanded to eat, drink
and
rejoice. On the other hand, we experience awe and trepidation, for this
is the
Day of Judgment. How can we reconcile feeling these opposite emotions,
these
two states of mind, and how can we balance them? The most obvious
instance of
this anomaly is perhaps the fact that, although it is a yom tov, our
feelings
of awe and trepidation dictate that we do not recite Hallel as
part of
the Rosh Hashanah liturgy, the prayer whose every paragraph exudes joy
and
praise of Hashem,.
The
Talmud tells us that there are three books open on this day, the Book
of the
Righteous who are written for life, the Book of the Evildoers, who are
written
for death, and the Book of the Intermediate People whose judgment is
suspended
until Yom Kippur. Certainly the awareness of this process fills us with
trepidation. If so, where does the joy come from?
If
we are being judged on this day, it is a new beginning and a new
opportunity to
reconcile with the Ribbonoh shel Olam and crown Him as our King. He is
evaluating us and giving us our due. Having a new opportunity to bond
with
Hakodosh Boruch Hu is a cause of inner, true joy, as is any opportunity
for a
fresh start. If we understand this as deep joy rather than superficial
happiness, we can more readily reconcile this feeling with the natural
trepidation the day evokes. On Rosh Hashanah, says the Paamei Moed,
I
have the opportunity to rededicate myself to what is truly important
and crown
Hashem as my King. If on Rosh Hashanah we renew our acceptance of
God’s
sovereignty with joy, that joy will permeate the entire year, says the Sefas
Emes, and we will experience the greatest joy in God’s
sovereignty over us.
It
is to this purpose that the Rosh Hashanah liturgy repeatedly invokes
God as
King, “The holy King,” “The King of justice,”
and other variations. We want to
see God as King in every situation, says the Sichot Hitchazkut,
al
kol haolam kulo, for we recognize that He created every situation,
and most
especially, every situation in my life. Therefore I joyously crown Him
King in
my life, for He has shown me special love and personal providence in
His
constant involvement in my life. But that knowledge requires me to
respond
appropriately in every situation Hashem presents me with. It forces me
to work
on my midot, my character traits. When I restrain myself from
getting
angry at my son who stubbornly insisted on pouring the grape juice and
then
spilled it all over himself and the Shabbos table, I can thank Hashem
for this
situation to teach me patience. When I have the opportunity to become
part of
the “in” crowd by sharing a juicy bit of gossip, but I
distance myself from
this crowd, I am crowning Hashem as my King and coming closer to Him.
Hashem
has tailor made these opportunities so that we can improve ourselves,
Is this
not a reason to be joyous?
But
a question begs to be asked: Surely God doesn’t need to write
down our deeds,
for He remembers everything. What then is the purpose of these books?
It is
reasonable to argue that the books are there for us rather than for
Hashem. The
Armonot Hazman uses the verse from Tehillim to begin his
explanation:
“The sea … will roar. Rivers will clap hands, mountains
will exult together –
before Hashem, for He will have arrived to judge the
earth…” The entire world
is waiting for God’s judgment, yet there seems to be great joy
rather than fear
at this prospect. Why? Because, continues Armonot Hazman,
when our
deeds are recorded, we can come before Hashem not as beggars asking for
handouts for the new year, but as individuals worthy of Hashem’s
benevolence,
thus creating a bond of friendship and partnering with Hashem. But,
naturally,
when our deeds are written and we know we are responsible for the
verdict we
receive, we will also experience trepidation at the thought.
These
two contrasting emotions are echoed in the differing sounds of the
shofar. The tekiyah
blast is the joyous herald as we greet our King, while the teruah
echoes
the sound of crying and of fear.
Rabbi
Roberts cites Rabbi Moshe Feinstein in offering another dimension to
our joy.
He contrasts a trial in a human court with a trial in the heavenly
court. In a
human court, once we go to trial, we are powerless over our fate.
However, in
the heavenly court with the Judge already in attendance, we still have
the
ability to influence the verdict and change the judgment. By doing
teshuvah
even at this late date we can reverse the judgment. Isn’t this
reason to
rejoice?
Further,
adds Rabbi Wolbe, God judges us according to where we stand at the very
moment
of judgment. We may have sinned grievously, but if on Rosh Hashanah we
truly
repent and resolve to do better, at that moment we are righteous, even
though
we may falter in our resolve as the year progresses. As the shofar
sounds and
we crown Hashem as the King of our being, our soul wants to do His
bidding
completely, and we ask Him to help us fulfill this wish.
The
Netivot Shalom points out that the three books are open before
us, and
we decide into which book we want to be written. Our books are within
our
souls, the true source of our lives. If we truly want the relationship
with
Hashem, we write ourselves in the Book of the Righteous; if this world
of
earthly pleasure is what we crave, we inscribe ourselves in the Book of
the
Wicked. And if we are caught between the two, we crave the
relationship, but we
fear the temptations of this world will be too difficult to withstand,
we write
ourselves in the Book of the Intermediate, the Undecided. When we ask
Hashem to
“write us in the Book of Life”, explains Rabbi Walkin
citing the Chassid
Yavetz, we are asking Him to write us in our Book of Life, to
imprint on
our souls the desire for true life and to cleanse our souls of any
impurity we
may have besmirched them with. The joy of Rosh Hashanah is that we
control our
fate, and that is also the source of our trepidation.
The
book, the written word is a record, a chronicle of what was done and
what
transpired. That all our deeds are written down, says Rabbi Pincus
citing the
Vilna Gaon, gives value to our lives and raises us above the animals.
Our
actions thereby attain permanence by affecting not only the physical
world, but
also the spiritual realm. If everything I do is written and remembered,
I
attain a kind of immortality. I am important, even as I may tremble at
the
thought that the written record evokes judgment. But as each action is
written,
we have the opportunity to use the Wite-out of teshuvah and correct
what is
written each step of the way during the year and especially on Rosh
Hashanah.
When we greet each other with the standard, “Ketivah vachatima
tova, may
you be written and sealed for a good year,” we are offering a
blessing as well
as a greeting. We are blessing our neighbors with the hope that they
merit
transforming their essence, their inner world, their souls into a Book
of Life
and Righteousness.
It
is all written, but we do not recite our confession on this day, for
this day
is not about us, but about the King’s coronation, and we stand in
awe as we
bear witness to His sovereignty over the world He created, says the Mearchei
Lev. And Rabbi Pincus continues this train of thought. All creation
is
singing God’s praises, the symphony fills the universe, and we,
because of the
element of trepidation within us, cannot verbalize the Hallel
on this
day, but our souls nevertheless want to be part of this pageant. As the
shofar
heralds His coronation and then rings out te-r-u-ah,
we want to establish the relationship of a close friend with Hakodosh
Boruch
Hu, a relationship as a r-ay-ah, a true
friend.
Hashem wants this relationship as well. He wants to move from the seat
of
judgment to the throne of mercy. He is just waiting for us to make the
first
move.
We
have just crowned our best Friend as our King. While we may tremble in
His
presence, we recognize that He provides us with everything we need at
all
times. We know He will always look for ways to judge us favorably,
provided we
show Him we want to retain our special relationship. And so, on Rosh
Hashanah
we rejoice.