MODELING
AND MINDFULNESS: PARSHAT KI TAVO
Shira
Smiles shiur –
September 7, 2014/Elul 12, 5774
Summary
by Channie Koplowitz Stein
As Bnei Yisroel is about to enter Eretz Yisroel, Hashem lists both the
blessings and the curses that await them, depending on their choices in
serving
Hashem. One of the key phrases and conditions for Hashem to bestow all
these
blessings upon us is that “Hashem
will confirm you for Himself as a holy people …
if you observe the commandments of Hashem your God and go in His ways.”
The question then comes up, what is unique about going in His ways that
practicing this mitzvah will facilitate the outpouring of blessings
from above,
and secondly, how does one “go
in His ways?”
On the first question, Rabbi Reiss points out in Meirosh Tzurim that
going in Hashem’s
ways encompasses all the commandments, those between man and God as
well as
those between man and his fellow man, and is the path that will bring
us closer
to Hakodosh Boruch Hu. But we are still left with the question of what
this
means.
Rabbi Yerucham Levovitz gives us a unique twist on this question. Based
on the
verse that the stated goal of the generation of dispersement for
building the
Tower of Babel was to reach the heavens, the Daas Torah posits
that the
spirituality of the people aroused in them the desire to be closer to
God.
(This is much different than the usual interpretation that the people
rebelled
against God.) They erred in that they thought physical closeness to
heaven
would achieve their goal, much as Adam thought that if he would eat of
the Tree
of Knowledge and resemble God, as the serpent had suggested, he would
achieve a
closer relationship with his Maker. Obviously, the key to a proper
relationship
does not lie in physical proximity alone. But physical closeness does
give one
the opportunity to study the ways of another and learn from them, much
as
students and disciples learn the ways of their teachers and Rebbeim and
can
then copy and internalize those lessons. If we are not trying to
emulate
Hashem, it must mean, unfortunately, that we are too far from Him to
observe
His ways and copy them.
The purpose of our lives, writes Rabbi Yitzchak Berkowitz in Six
Constant
Mitzvoth, is to connect with Hashem through striving for perfection
in our
lives and in our role in perfecting the world. Recognizing this purpose
is the
basis for the faith that lets one see the hand of God in every aspect
of one’s
life. That means,
writes Rabbi Levovitz, that we are a work in progress, that we must
work on our
growth in emulating Hakodosh Boruch Hu so that we have transformed our
essence
into His middos. Until then, we are not yet complete, much like a stalk
of
wheat is not yet complete until it is ripe and can be transformed into
bread
and food, for the purpose of man is to be godlike, to allow His
presence to
permeate our lives.
Nevertheless, we are still left with the question of how are we to
follow in
His path. As the Gemarrah teaches us, we are to emulate His ways, to
clothe the
poor, visit the sick and do other acts of chessed. Meirosh Tzurim
points
to another verse that tells us to do what is good and straight in the
eyes of
Hashem. Rabbi Reiss, quoting the sefer HaChinuch infers from
this that
we must always try to live within the spirit of the law, that we should
act
beyond what may be technically permissible and live with that which
would find
favor in God’s
eyes. Further, citing Rambam, Rav Reiss continues that the straight
path refers
to the middle path, never going to either extreme (except in very
unusual
cases). So one should be generous and give tzedakah, but not give so
much that
he impoverishes himself. Further, one must have the wisdom to
understand which
behavior is appropriate in every circumstance. Just as Hashem is
sometimes
referred to as the Man of war and at other times as merciful and
compassionate,
we too must develop the sensitivity to know what kind of action is
required in
any circumstance. The proper path is the balance between extremes and
the
wisdom to use the appropriate characteristic in each circumstance.
Rebbetzin Feldbrand provides some additional insight into how we can
walk in
Hashem’s
ways.
She teaches that we must devote our lives to imitating our Creator’s
Thirteen
Attributes of Mercy, and work on improving our negative character
traits which
are impediments to these improvements. All the negative character
traits, notes
the Chazon Ish can essentially be boiled down to one premise: To
relinquish
control to one’s
instincts and desires. In contrast, the essential good attribute is to
maintain
one’s
control
over one’s
instincts and desires. Working on this is a constant process that
cannot be
successful overnight. Our middos, our positive
characteristics, may not
be found in the Torah itself, for they form the foundation upon which
Torah can
be built, writes Rabbi Moshe Scheinerman in Ohel Moshe. They
are a
given, much as an architect may assume the contractor already knows he
must
pour the concrete foundation before he constructs the building. Our job
is to
work on strengthening this foundation and in learning to control our
negative
tendencies so that we do not become vehicles for jealousy and anger.
This is
walking in His ways, and explains why the verse is placed here in the
middle of
the blessings, for he who works on himself to become more godlike will
merit
becoming a conduit for receiving these blessings.
It is not enough to act on chessed opportunities as they present
themselves,
note both Rabbi Reiss and Rabbi Wolbe. One must be proactive and seek
opportunities for chessed. Just as Hashem’s
essence is giving and being compassionate constantly, so should we
nurture
within ourselves the desire to search for opportunities to do chessed,
to
recognize a need without being asked, to see the pain in someone’s
eyes and offer
comfort, to pick up the slack when a neighbor is overwhelmed. And if
you can’t
find a way to
actively help, you can at least daven for them. In short, become a
chessed
person. To walk in His ways is to be active in the process, not
passive. Hashem
is compassionate 24/7; we need to practice chessed not just during
convenient “office
hours”.
As Rabbi
Feinstein points out, our patriarch Avraham was in physical pain, yet
his
emotional pain at being unable to perform chessed to wayfarers
propelled him to
wait at his door hoping to greet a lone traveler and offer him food and
drink.
While we have been discussing ways we can emulate Hashem, there is one
area in
which it would seem impossible for us to do so. Hashem is unique,
singular,
there is nothing beside Him. How are we to emulate this quality of
singularity
within ourselves and within our own lives? In what way are we too
singular? If
we are to emulate Him, we can at least strive to be independent, not
asking
others to do for us what we can do for ourselves, teaches Rabbi
Shimshon
Pincus, the Teferes Shimshon. The beauty of each person can
only be discerned
through his individuality and solitary self, and it is only through
this inner,
independent essence that he can form a relationship with the Ribbono
shel
olam.
In fact, writes Rabbi Wolbe in his essay Chodesh Horachamim,
Man was
created as a single individual, only later divided into separate male
and
female entities. While we play multiple roles in our lives - daughter,
student,
parent, spouse, professional –
none of these roles defines our inner essence. That essence can only be
discovered
and nurtured in solitude. The work of self discovery is difficult. It
explains
why we crave busyness and constant connection to others (especially now
with
all the technical social media). But each of us is responsible for our
own
growth and our own actions, and each of us will be judged on the basis
of our
own uniqueness, passing before God’s
judgment one by one. During the month of Elul we should carve out some
alone
time to work on knowing ourselves and working on those character traits
that
need our attention in order to make ourselves more perfect in Hashem’s
image.
Rabbi Itamar Schwartz explains how one should attempt to create a
balance
between his social self and his unique solitary self. We are all social
beings,
but we also need to carve out time to be alone and be comfortable with
who we
are. Alone time begins by learning to focus and learning to live in the
moment.
Is it really necessary to answer the phone the moment it rings, even if
you are
disturbed while doing something else? Allow yourself to turn off all
outside
distractions and sit in quiet solitude. Learn that there is a
difference
between solitude and loneliness, and appreciate your inner self so that
you can
turn inward and hear that still, small voice that connects you to your
Godly
essence.
Go in His ways. Emulate Him. Be straight and a person of chessed. Most
of all,
recognize that you are unique and have the potential to be very godly
and
thereby establish a beautiful and strong bond with Hakodosh Boruch Hu.