DECIPHERING
DEVORAH’S DEMISE: PARSHAT VAYISHLACH
Shira Smiles shiur 2020/5781
Adapted by Channie Koplowitz Stein
Having
successfully left Lavan in Charan and escaped his meeting with Esau, on his way
back to his father’s home, Yaakov Avinu stops with his family at Beth El. In
Beit El he builds an altar to Hashem as he had promised when he first fled.
Here the narrative stops and interjects an event that seems to have no bearing
on Yaakov Avinu’s journey. “Devorah, the wet-nurse of Rivkah Imenu died, and she
was buried below Beth El… and he named it Alon Bachut/Plateau of weepings.”
The
Torah is not a collection of random ideas. If Devorah’s death is recorded here,
it must be significant. Devorah herself must have been important to have her
death mentioned in the Torah. Further, why is her death mentioned specifically
at this juncture?
The
Medrash fills in some of the blanks, but raises more questions in doing so The
Medrash explains that both Devorah and Rivkah Imenu died, hence the plural
“weepings.” Rivkah Imenu’s death is not explicitly mentioned. Since Yitzchak
Avinu was blind and Yaakov Avinu was away, The one burying her would be Esau.
In these circumstances, instead of being accorded proper honor and eulogies,
Rivkah Imenu would have been the subject of curses for having born such an evil
son, suggests Rashi. Alternately, Ramban suggests that Esau was still angry at
his mother for facilitating his losing the blessing. Esau would not even bury
her. Only the Hittites would have been left left to bury Rivkah Imenu, again
not bestowing proper respect on Rivkah Imenu.
Rav
Yedid in Arba Imahot quotes the Piskta Rabati who suggests that
it was Rivkah Imenu herself who anticipated the negative comments her burial
would generate if the only mourner with her coffin would be Esau. These
comments would not only be disrespectful to her, but more importantly, would
also constitute a chillul Hashem/desecration of God’s Name. To avoid
this possibility, she herself commanded that she be buried quietly at night.
In
contrast, Yitzchak Avinu did not anticipate this reaction and did not command
that he be buried secretly at night. In fact, the Torah states that both Esau
and Yaakov Avinu buried Yitzchak Avinu together. Yitzchak Avinu’s burial would
not generate these comments because as a tzadik the son of a tzadik, the
populace would attribute the righteous Yaakov Avinu to his genealogy while
attributing the wicked Esau to Rivkah Imenu’s genealogy, explains Rabbi Yaakov
Kamenetzky in Emes leYaakov Avinu.
Still,
how was it that Devorah was with Yaakov Avinu at this time? According to Rashi,
Devorah had accompanied Rivkah Imenu when Rivkah Imenu left Lavan’s house. Now
that Rivkah Imenu felt it was safe for Yaakov Avinu to return, she sent
Devorah, her trusted nurse, to tell Yaakov Avinu to come home. However, this
explanation does not sound logical to Ramban. After all, the nurse would have
been quite elderly at this time and would not be sent on such a long mission.
Instead, Ramban posits that Devorah had remained behind in Charan when Rivkah
Imenu left to marry Yitzchak Avinu. Now that Yaakov Avinu was leaving Lavan,
Yaakov Avinu took Devorah with him out of respect for his mother.
Another
question remains. The Chasam Sofer asks why Hashem orchestrated these two death
to occur concurrently, so that Yaakov Avinu would mourn her death along with
his mother’s death?
In
Ohr Olam, Rav Wali notes that alon in Greek translates as
“another”, alluding to the second death, that of Rivkah IImeinu. Rabbi Wali
proposes that people may very well have cursed Rivkah Imenu during her life for
the birth of Esau, but curses on the living may remain as curses of the physical
body only, while curses after one’s death adhere to the heavenly soul. In fact,
the curse of Esau had already had its effects. Rabbi Zeichick cites the
verse, “May the iniquity of his father be remembered before Hashem, and the sin
of his mother not be erased,” (Tehillim 109:14) as referring to Esau
whose evil had already brought so much tragedy to the family: Esau’s
grandfather Avraham died five years before his time so as not to see the great
sinfulness of Esau, Yitzchak Avinu was blinded to the same purpose, and Rivkah
Imenu was buried without the honor due her.
There
were multiple reasons for tears at this point, writes Rabbi Broide in Sam
Derech. Certainly, the death of his mother and her nurse were devastating
to Yaakov Avinu Avinu, but the absence of honor and eulogies in her memory
compounded the tears. Now imagine the strong bond between Rivkah Imenu and
Yaakov Avinu, the thirty five years of separation, and the anticipated reunion,
only to be denied the joy of seeing his mother again, and we get a fuller
picture of the depth of Yaakov Avinu’s grief.
Artscroll
Midrash quotes the Chatam Sofer who offers a comforting insight into the
juxtaposition of the deaths of these two great women. Yaakov Avinu could not
eulogize his mother, for her greatest achievement was getting Yitzchak Avinu’s
blessing away from her firstborn Esau for her righteous son, Yaakov Avinu.
However, any mention of Esau would produce curses from the populace. Instead,
he could eulogize Devorah as a reflection of Rivkah Imenu. That would grant his
mother some of the honor she deserved while also painting a picture of both his
mother whom his wives and children would never meet and of this saintly woman,
her nursemaid. This was an insight of the Chasam Sofer whose father in law was
Rabbi Akiva Eiger zt”l. Rabbi Akiva Eiger had willed that no eulogies be
delivered at his funeral. However, Rabbi Eiger’s daughter, the Chasam Sofer’s
wife, had predeceased him. So the Chasam Sofer “borrowed” a eulogy for
his wife that would point to the greatness of the father who had raised her.
Motherhood
is more than a biological event with physical responsibilities. Our Matriarchs
introduced the concept of covenantal motherhood, a role that extends beyond
caring for one’s own biological children to caring for other children within
the extended family, for teaching the shared covenant of the people to her
children not only through observance, but also through experiencing them
together, through singing, laughing, playing and crying. Devorah was part of this
covenantal motherhood. This is a great lesson Rav Soloveitchick teaches us.
[The Torah speaks of another wetnurse, one who happened to also be the
biological mother of the child. Yocheved, mother of Moshe Rabbenu, was hired by
Moshe’s adoptive mother, Pharaoh’s daughter, to nurse the child. Raised in
Pharaoh’s palace, Moshe went out to observe and share in the suffering of “his
brothers”. It was the “covenantal/biological mother” together with the adoptive
mother who taught him to identify the Jewish slaves as his brothers. In this
context, it is also important to recognize and appreciate the devotion of all
parents who adopt children and toil to raise them in the Covenant of Avraham
Avinu. CKS]
Rabbi
Frand cites Rabbi Weinberger and builds on the medrash that Rivkah Imenu sent
Devorah, to retrieve Yaakov Avinu. Albeit Devorah was 133 years old at the
time, it was only someone whom Yaakov Avinu knew and who could faithfully
represent a taste of his former Jewish home that could now be sent to Yaakov
Avinu. Devorah would represent all that the Jewish grandmother wanted to
instill in her grandchildren, grandchildren Rivkah Imenu herself would not be
privileged to see. This is the taste of Yiddishkeit grandparents, even more
than parents themselves, can often bring to the children.
According
to Rabbi Eliyahu Kitov, Rivkah Imenu sent Devorah not all the way to Charan,
but only as far as Beit El. After Devorah delivered her message, Rivkah Imenu
died, and there was no one for Devorah to deliver a return message to. Having
completed her mitzvah, Devorah died, and Yaakov Avinu mourned them both.
It
is interesting to note that Yaakov Avinu called the burial place of Devorah The
Plain of Weepings, memorializing the eulogies and the memory of Devorah rather
the site of her burial. After all, Devorah was Rivkah Imenu’s tutor as well as
her nursemaid, keeping Devorah’s contribution rather than the site alive. In
contrast, when Yaakov Avinu buried his beloved Rachel, Yaakov Avinu named the
place Kever Rachel, Rachel’s grave, marking the site forever as
important for their descendants, so Bnei Yisroel could pray at her grave site
and ask for her intercession on their behalf, notes Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt”l.
Yaakov
Avinu was not the only one to recognize the greatness of Devorah. It was from
Devorah that Rivkah Imenu drank in not only physically nourishing milk, but
also her spiritual values. Rabbi Zeichick notes that the Prophetess Devorah
understood her namesake’s value, and when she became a judge in Israel, she
chose to hold court under this very tree in the plains of Beit El where Rivkah
Imenu’s nursemaid and tutor lay. Here the Judge Devorah would draw on the
inspiration and wisdom of the earlier Devorah to render proper judgment.
Rabbi
Schrage Grosbard sees Devorah as the model for all teachers. A successful
teacher is one who transmits the lessons to each student as if she were feeding
them and nursing them, whether the lesson is about material things or about
values. In this same context, Reb Chaim of Volozhin changed the term for
students from Talmidei Hayeshivah/students of the yeshivah to Bnei
Hayeshivah/sons of the yeshivah. As a way of emulating Hashem, we can
create children not only biologically but also through education, for a teacher
or Rebbe infuses the soul with life.
Along
these same lines, Rabbi Svei in Ruach Eliyahu interprets the miracle
Elisha performed in resuscitating the dead child. Rabbi Svei notes that
miracles require no human intervention, and indeed, the physical resuscitation
of the child occurred without Elisha’s intervention. What, then, was the
purpose of Elisha’s putting his eyes on the child’s eyes, his hands on the
child’s hands, and his feet on the child’s feet? Rabbi Svei suggests that
herein lies the key to revival of the soul, beyond physical life. A teacher or
Rebbe must connect with the soul of the child, through a meeting of the eyes,
the actions of the hands, and the path the legs will embark on. In this
context, Devorah was the spiritual mother of Rivkah Imenu. And so Judge and Prophetess
Devorah can declare in her victory song that, “I arose a mother in Israel.”
The
Torah specifically omits mentioning Rivkah Imenu’s death while recording Yaakov
Avinu’s crying for Devorah to highlight that Yaakov Avinu was crying for
Devorah, a detail we would ignore if Rivkah Imenu’s death was recorded and he
was crying for the loss of his mother. But here Yaakov Avinu was crying not for
himself, but for Devorah’s soul that was undergoing the painful transition from
its physical host to its heavenly abode. Yaakov Avinu eulogized her to create
merit for her soul, to help carry the burden of suffering of Devorah’s soul. To
feel the pain of another Jew is an obligation on each of us, adds Rabbi
Kastenbaum in Olam Hamiddos. One way we can fulfill this obligation is
to pray for others when we see their pain. In contrast is the rasha/evil
person who tramples on others and thinks only of himself, writes the Ramchal in
Mesillat Yeshorim.
When
we feel the pain of others, we are in fact emulating Hakodosh Boruch Hu
Himself, continues the Ramchal. In support, the Ramchal cites that when we
visit someone sitting shiva over a loved one, even if he is the lone mourner,
we recite the comforting verse, “HaMakom yenachem eschem…/May Hashem
comfort you (plural),” for Hashem is experiencing the pain of the mourner and
sitting shiva with him (so to speak).
Rabbi
Chazkel Levenstein cites the Talmud in saying that one who cries for the loss
of a tzadik, his sins are forgiven, for the eulogies at the death of a tzadik
inspire us to do teshuvah. Now Yaakov Avinu was returning to Eretz Yisroel, a
vessel ready to absorb the blessings Hashem had promised him. But Bnei Yisroel
needed to do teshuvah and receive atonement for killing the inhabitants of
Shechem. These tears for the righteous Devorah achieved that atonement.
This explains, why the death of Devorah is found after Yaakov Avinu makes an
altar, and before Hashem actually conveys blessing upon him. Teshuva was
necessary to receive these blessings, and crying for this righteous woman was
the conduit to achieving this level.
Parents,
teachers, Rabbis officially, and friends, neighbors, even acquaintances
unofficially are all part of our covenantal family, inspiring us and instilling
a life force beyond our physical existence. Yaakov Avinu’s mourning for Devorah
teaches us how we must honor those who impact our spiritual as well as our
physical lives.