BS”D
RESOURCEFUL
RESOURCE: PARSHAT VAYETZE
Shira Smiles Shiur
2018/5779
Adapted by Channie
Koplowitz Stein
Parshat Vayetze begins with Yaakov Avinu leaving Be’er Sheva and going
to Charan, the town where his mother Rivka comes from and where her family
still resides. The Medrash fills in that Yaakov went to Charan hoping to find a
wife, just as his grandfather Avraham Avinu had sent his servant Eliezer to
Charan to find Yitzchak, Yaakov’s father, a wife. Bereishit Rabba then
attributes to Yaakov Avinu the verses of Tehillim 121, “I lift my eyes to hehorim/the
mountains from whence shall come my help. Ezri/my help comes from
Hashem, Creator of heaven and earth.” In pure Medrashic style, the Medrash then
explains these verses more homiletically, and our Sages continue to expound on
them.
First the Medrash explains that Yaakov was looking for guidance not to hehorim/the
mountains, but to hahorim/the parents. In this regard, he remembered
that Eliezer, Avraham’s agent, had come laden with many gifts for a prospective
bride and her family. He, however, came destitute. How would he find a wife, an
ezer kinegdo? When he left his father’s house, he may indeed have
carried some wealth with him, as had Eliezer. But, again according to the
Medrash, Esau had sent his son Eliphaz to waylay Yaakov and kill him. Eliphaz,
who had been raised in Yitzchak’s home, could not bring himself to murder
Yaakov, yet he felt obligated to obey his father. Yaakov gave Eliphaz a
solution; if Eliphaz would steal everything from Yaakov, Eliphaz would still be
obeying his father’s command, for a pauper is considered as if dead. Following
this solution, Yaakov arrived at Charan penniless.
Did Yaakov lack faith in Hakodosh Boruch Hu, that without bearing gifts he
would be unable to find a wife? Even though he knows that Hashem will help him,
what is he worried about, asks the Tosher Rebbe z”l. What he was worried about,
answer the Ksav Sofer, is that Hashem prefers running the world according to
the natural order rather than miraculously. How will Hashem come to his aid
without resorting to miracles? Yaakov Avinu did not despair, but based on the
example of his parents, he did not see a solution.
The Tosher Rebbe z”l, in Avodat Avodah, offers further insight. There is
a principle that one may not derive pleasure from a pure miracle, but one may
derive pleasure from a miracle that is an expansion of something already
existing. To illustrate this principle, the Tosher Rebbe z”l offers the example
of Elisha’s miracle for the widow of the prophet Ovadya. She had nothing left
in her house except a bit of oil and some flour, enough for one roll. She was
resigned that she and her son would die of starvation. Elisha used that tiny
bit of oil to keep pouring oil into every dish and jug the widow could find or
borrow until there were no more utensils. When she stopped pouring, the oil
ceased, but she had enough now to sell and subsist on the profits.
Yaakov, on the other hand, had nothing that could be increased. He would need a
miracle mei’ayin/from nothing. How could he personally benefit if Hashem
would do a miracle for him? However, the principle continues that if what one
derives will be used in Hashem’s service and for mitzvoth, it is not considered
personal benefit. Yaakov rethought his problem and knew that he would dedicate
every aspect of his life to serving Hashem. Then he would be permitted to also
enjoy the effects of whatever miracle Hashem would perform for him. The secret
was to understand that, just as the verse continues, one must put Shamayim/Heaven/the
spiritual before ha’aretz/the earth/the mundane. This was the great
truth Yaakov’s grandfather Avraham Avinu had brought to the world and taught
others.
In the final analysis, when all one has is trust in God, one can be sure that
God will come to his aid, naturally or supernaturally. After all, writes the Shem
MiShmuel, every aspect of our lives, life itself, comes miraculously from
God. Only when one is in this dark and depressing space, when he feels help is
beyond the natural order, can he fully come to appreciate the light of God’s
“supernatural” intervention.
The very existence and history of our nation is proof of Hashem’s intervention
and providence. Hashem interacts with us in a reciprocal fashion. When we
trust in Him rather than in our own power or resources, Hashem pulls back, but
when we unequivocally follow Him and trust in Him, He continues to provide all
we need, whether we perceive it as positive or negative. This was the profound
truth that Yaakov reminded himself of as he reviewed his current circumstances.
He had no need to despair. As Rabbi Friedlander z”l, the Sifsei Chaim
points out, Yaakov’s internal dialogue was not a lack of faith; it was the
process toward greater faith.
While we need to put in our own effort, to do our hishtadlus, we must still
realize that the result is still in the hands of Hashem, adds Mishchat
Shemen. We may have a toy steering wheel on the passenger side of the car,
and like a child, believe we are actually driving, but Hashem controls the
actual steering wheel. Yaakov put his entire faith in Hashem. As he later says,
“Bemakli ovarti et haYarden/[Only] with my staff did I
cross the Jordan.” Yaakov Avinu had nothing else but his staff, representing
his faith. It is this staff that became the bottom support fro the Mishkan/Tabernacle
that his descendents would build to demonstrate their faith in Hakodosh Boruch
Hu. The word itself represents the initials declaring our faith – MaKeL
-Meiolam Kivinu Loch/ we trust in You for all
eternity.
In this vein, Mishchat Hashemen recalls hearing from Rabbi Halpern z”l
of Manchester that an ancient manuscript was found with an alternate spelling
of the name of our Chanukah heroes. While Maccabbee is usually written as MaCaBY
signaling the battle cry of the warriors, Mi Chamocha
Bo’eilin Y[Hashem’s four lettered name], this particular
manuscript was written MaKaBI, Meiolam
Kivinu Loch Y[God’s name]/We trust in You for all
eternity.
Our hishtadlus/effort should ideally be in strengthening our bitachon/faith,
but that level of spirituality is beyond most of us. Our tefillot, our
prayer, is an integral part of our hishtadlus. While we put in our
effort, we must always realize that we do not control the outcome. It is
this message that we must inculcate in our children. Hashem creates the natural
order, and He continues to control it. Our salvation comes from Hashem Who
continues to make heaven and earth.
There must be a delicate balance between one’s personal effort and one’s faith,
a balance that each of us must determine individually based on his own level of
spirituality. “Six days shall you labor,” is permission to work, not a mandate
to do so. What occupies our thoughts? When we are working, do our minds wander
to thoughts of Torah, or when we are davening, do our minds wander to
our business commitments? How close are you to relying completely on Hashem?
The truth is that our success and wealth has been predetermined for the year.
Although we must put in “natural” effort, putting in more effort will not change
the final outcome. [Did we earn more money and are now able to cover those
unexpected expenses, or are those unexpected expenses Hashem’s way of
maintaining the predetermined earnings for the year?]
The Sifsei Chaim notes that so much of this parsha deals with the
question of effort versus faith. Later in the parsha, for example, Hashem
“heard” Rochel’s prayer for children. As the Seforno writes, Hashem took note
of Rochel’s personal efforts to bear and raise a child. She gave her maidservant
to Yaakov, as Sarah Imenu had done, hoping that in that merit she would
conceive. In a more natural way, she bartered for the mandrake flowers, hoping
that using them as a natural supplement would enhance her fertility. Hashem saw
her efforts and gave her the pregnancy she prayed for. We must do our hishtadlus,
whether it is in matters of health, wealth, shidduchim, or any other area, but
we must never forget the Hashem controls the outcome. In fact, Rabbi Beyfus
interprets our verse in Tehillim specifically this way, my ezer/wife
will come from Hashem.
Hashem remains in control throughout our lives, not just at critical moments.
In Ohel Moshe Rabbi Scheinerman relates a story cited in the Gemarrah. A
matron asked Rabbi Yossi ben Chalafta what Hashem has been doing all these
years after He created the world. Rabbi Yossi responded that Hashem is busy
arranging matches between men and women. The matron, who had successfully
arranged several matches herself, thought this was ludicrous and needn’t take
much time. She quickly arranged one thousand matches between her servants and
her maids. The following morning, one had a black eye, another a broken leg,
and so on for all the matches. This matron had been a successful matchmaker who
understood what each person needed. But the work only begins after the music
stops and the couple goes home. Hashem stays involved and keeps the husband and
wife compatible and living in peace together throughout their marriage. This is
a full time job, and one the matron did not understand.
It is for this reason that the difficulty of arranging marriages is compared to
the splitting of the Sea. Water, by its very nature, seeks to go back to its
original form. Hashem needed to maintain the water in their columns until Bnei
Yisroel had passed. It needed to be more than momentary. It needed to be
sustained. Similarly, a husband and wife come from different backgrounds, Mars
and Venus, and must work on becoming one and remaining one. This takes effort
on the part of the couple throughout their marriage and includes the constant
partnership with Hakodosh Boruch Hu to keep the marriage successful. “From
whence will my wife/help come?” is not just for the introduction and ceremony,
but also for the duration.
Personal hishtadlus, says the Brisker Rav, works in all areas except in
the area of zivugim/matches. Here one must truly rely on Hashem to bring
the appropriate match. However, one does his personal hishtadlus by
davening to Hashem, for Hashem is the One who arranges the matches. Reciting
Psalm 121 which includes the verse we’ve been discussing in the Shemonah
Esrai before taking the final three steps back may indeed demonstrate that
we are relying on Hashem to find us the appropriate match.
Yaakov knew that he needed to get married. He knew he faced challenges in
presenting himself as a desirable match. Nevertheless, he put his faith in
Hakodosh Boruch Hu and Hashem provided the appropriate women who would be his
helpmeets in forming the foundation of the shivtei kah/the twelve tribes
of Israel. May Hashem speedily send appropriate matches to so many of our
singles who are waiting and putting their faith in Him.