SCRUTINY AND
STUDY: YOM KIPPUR
Shira Smiles shiur
2018/5779
Adapted by Channie
Koplowitz Stein
Among the sins that we ask Hashem for forgiveness on Yom Kippur are “the sins
that we committed before You bli daat/without knowledge.” While
Artscroll interprets these sins to be the result of self - imposed ignorance,
Rabbi Meislish notes these sins are the result of ignorance, but not
necessarily self- imposed, but he adds that even if you did not know the halachah,
you should have learned it or at least asked about it. He also explains
that there are other aspects of “ ignorance” in our avodas Hashem.
Rabbi Rothberg, in studying Rambam’s Hilchot Teshuvah, notices an
interesting anomaly. Rambam generally notes four components of Teshuvah,
including regret and resolution for the future, but, writes Rabbi Rothberg in Moda
Labinah, for the laws of Yom Kippur, the Rambam notes that the day focuses
only on confession, acknowledging our sins, both personal and communal. Why is
this so?
Admitting one has sinned against God is extremely difficult. One may admit he’s
done something wrong and may even resolve to abstain from that behavior, but
verbalizing and identifying the sin before God may still remain elusive. This
reluctance has been part of the human psyche since the beginning of time, for
Adam himself hid from God and blamed the woman rather than admit to God that he
had sinned. King Saul too admitted he did wrong by not destroying all of
Amalek, but he blamed the people for his failure. Only if we can acknowledge
the reality of our responsibility for the sin and specify what we did wrong can
the other steps of teshuvah follow naturally.
To accept that I have sinned against God requires honesty, continues Rabbi
Rothberg. Yom Kippur is meant to open our eyes and hearts to be able to say, “I
have sinned,” to understand that the sin has an effect on me, on my essence.
Only when I own up to that reality can I be cleansed and purified. This vidui,
acknowledges, that it is hard for me to recognize that what I have done is
considered a sin.
But, as our tefillot continue, we say, Hashem, You know all the secrets
of our heart. Therefore forgive us for our sins, for, writes Rabbi Scher z”l in
Leket Sichot Mussar, we forget that we are standing before You at all
times. We have lost the recognition of the greatness of Hashem. So, we ask
Hashem to make His presence a reality for us. On a deeper level, this
vidui recognizes, that we don’t have the daas, the intimate knowledge of
Hashem’s presence at all times in my life.
Without this awareness, writes Rabbi Wolbe z”l, we’ve lost clarity and are
suspended in mid- air, so much so that we can confuse ourselves into believing
that an act is actually a mitzvah even when it is an absolute sin. If you are
totally aware that you are standing before Hakodosh Boruch Hu and you act this
way anyway, then you are totally lost.
Rabbi Immnuel Bernsteinquoting the Gra z”l, explains the process that
creates this confusion. As our commentators note, the world was created with
the letter heh [Bereishit 2:4]. Each letter in the Hebrew alphabet has symbolic
value. The heh, formed from the combination of the daled and a yud,
combines the physical world of dimensions with the spiritual world of the yud
that floats in space. When one loses contact with the authentically spiritual
and is interested only in the appearance of the spiritual while remaining
rooted in the physical, one extends the yud so that it touches bottom,
becoming a vuv. It looks almost the same. However, now the combination
of daled and vuv form a new letter, a kuf. The elongated
letter now blocks the pseudo spiritual person from reentering the spiritual
realm the same way he left, and he must find a new entry point through the
opening at the top. In the interim, he is a kuf/monkey, mimicking
spirituality, but being inauthentic. In this state, he doesn’t even know that
he is sinning and his priorities are skewed. He/she is more interested in the
new clothing she will wear to shul than in the depth of her prayers, or in the
appearance of the table to her Shabbat or yom tov guests than if the food was
prepared according to the stringencies of the laws of Shabbat. She has no
knowledge that she is doing anything wrong. In fact, adds Rabbi Yaakov Hillel
in Ascending the Path, he’s convinced he’s doing the mitzvah of hachnosat
orchim/bringing guests into his home.
In reality, adds Rabbi Scher z”l, all our sins are by accident, without
knowledge. Either I was not careful enough and did not think through my
actions, I did not scrutinize them in advance, or I did not know the law as I
had not studied it properly. To be a true eved Hashem/servant of God
requires constant vigilance, constant examination before action coupled with
regular reflection and assessment afterward.
Rebbetzin Feldbrand gives us an additional perspective on this reckoning. It is
not only our actions themselves that must be scrutinized, but also the
motivating factors behind them. Be completely honest, and resolve that tomorrow
you will move forward, rather than back. Only then you can ask Hashem to
forgive you for your shortcomings.
This scrutiny must be accompanied by a willingness to change. But change is
extremely difficult, writes Rabbi Frand in Listen to Your Messages.
Willingness to change inherently implies an admission of previous error. People
will make all sorts of excuses to keep from admitting wrongdoing or sinning,
attributing actual halachah to custom or stringencies. This habit can
begin the slide down a slippery slope that eventually leads to denying the
wisdom of rabbis and repudiating the Torah itself. One must take responsibility
for one’s actions, adds Rabbi Lugassi, for each of us has a huge bag of excuses
for avoiding responsibility.
Rabbi Schorr, in Halekach Vehalebuv explains that the only way we can do
teshuvah is if we take responsibility for what we have done. We cannot claim
that everything is predetermined, for we have free choice. Resolve to be a heh,
not a kuf. Don’t be afraid to do the right thing, such as refraining
from talking during during the chazan’s repetition of the shemoneh
esrai, for fear you’ll be called holier than thou. It is not enough to do
enough to get by, to be a good Jew. We must strive to do our best, adds Rabbi
Yaakov Hillel.
Indeed, Hashem created the yetzer horo within us, but he also gave us
the antidote, the Torah, reminds us Rabbi Pincus z”l. Start studying the Torah,
learn the laws that apply in all kinds of circumstances. One can start by
learning one halachah a day, or, as the Chofetz Chaim Foundation
suggests, learning one or two halachot of shemirat halashon every
day. [One can get a daily email by sending an email to dcompanion@cchfusa.org
and typing “subscribe” in the subject line. CKS] If you prefer, form groups to
study together the laws of Shabbat, for they are so intricate that they require
constant review. The introduction to the Mishneh Berurah teaches that
learning the laws of Shabbat will lead to the redemption.
Although it is unlikely that we can live through a year without sinning at all,
through constant vigilance and continued study, the body of sins we commit in
this category will shrink from year to year, bringing us closer to the pure
beings Hashem envisioned in creating mankind.
Have a meaningful and easy fast, and may Hashem inscribe us individually and
nationally for a year of success, health and peace in our spiritual and
physical lives.