BS"D
SECRETS
OF SUCCESS: PARSHAT VAYESHEV
Shira
Smile shiur - 2017/5778
Adapted
by Channie Koplowitz Stein
In Parshat Vayeshev we read the first half of Yosef Hatzadik's history. We read
of Yosef Hatzadik's dreams and of his brothers selling him as a slave and of
his eventual arrival in Egypt. As traumatic as his journey is, the Torah
records that Yosef Hatzadik was matzliazch/successful in all he did
wherever he was, whether in Potiphar's house or in prison. What is the secret
of his success? Can we adapt Yosef Hatzadik's methods for our own self
improvement? Our commentators cite two different ingredients to Yosef
Hatzadik's success, bein Adam laMakom/between man and God and bein
adam lachavero/between man and his fellow man. The major clue that our
commentators cite, especially Rashi, is that Yosef Hatzadik constantly
speaks of Hashem, Shem Shomayim shogur bfiv.
Potiphar saw that Yosef Hatzadik was successful and appointed him over his
entire household. What did Potiphar see? He noticed that Yosef Hatzadik seemed
to be muttering to himself whenever he entered a room or began a new task. At
first, Potiphar assumed that Yosef Hatzadik was practicing the sorcery that was
rampant in Egypt. But whether Yosef Hatzadik rebutted that assumption, or
perhaps Hashem gave Potiphar a vision or a dream in which he "saw"
Hashem with Yosef Hatzadik, Potiphar realized that Yosef Hatzadik's success was
attributable to Hashem's intervention and not to sorcery.
Nevertheless, we still see that evil people are often successful while
righteous people often fail. Success alone is therefore not proof that
Hashem was with Yosef Hatzadik. The Ohel Yehoshua, the Zikover Rebbe,
explains that Potiphar saw something unusual in Yosef Hatzadik's behavior. Yosef
Hatzadik never took personal credit for his success, never asked for any
benefit or promotion, adds Letitcha Elyon, always crediting Hashem. Even
more, writes Tov Hapeninim, Yosef Hatzadik always asked for Hashem's
help in advance and always thanked Hashem afterward, a habit each of us can
develop, whether what we need is big or small, material or physical.
Many of us may already be in the habit of saying, "Boruch Hashem",
"B'ezrat Hashem," and other such phrases on a regular basis.
However, notes the Chidushei Rabbenu Yosef Hatzadik Nechmiah citing the Shelah
Hakodosh, for many of us, these phrases are mere lip service, recited by
rote, without the full intention of the heart. In such cases, it is possible
that we are committing the sin of mentioning God's name in vain. Yosef Hatzadik
didn't just say the words, he meant them, adds Rabbi Wolbe z”l. He understood
that although he made the decisions and did the planning, success or failure
depended only on Hashem's will. Our challenge is to realize that we are merely
the conduit of Hashem's will.
The Yad Batorah notes that there seem to be two related ideas in Rashi
here. The first is citing Hashem and crediting Him, and the second is success.
Explains the Yad Batorah, human nature is that we take personal credit
for our successes but blame Hashem (circumstances, etc.) for our failures. Even
Naomi, mother in law of Ruth and great grandmother of Dovid Hamelech, can be
ascribed to perhaps alluding to this. Upon returning to Beit Lechem as a
childless widow in poverty, she declares, "I went out full, but Hashem
has returned me empty." We have to trust in Hashem's support as much as we
trust that the chair I am about to sit upon will support my weight. This is
true for all small things as well as big things, whether it's finding a parking
spot, having all the ingredients I need on hand for my recipe, or building a
successful business.
How can we develop this habit? Rabbi Berkowitz in Six Constant Mitzvoth explains
that prayer need not be formal. We should talk to Hashem throughout the day for
everything we need or to thank Him for what we have. If we go into an empty
room and talk to Hashem, it is clear that we believe in His existence, for no
one else is in the room to whom we could be speaking. The reality of His
existence has penetrated our heart as it had penetrated the heart of Yosef
Hatzadik Hatzadik.
Even when Yosef Hatzadik found himself in prison, he felt God's constant
presence. When the king's cup bearer and baker had disturbing dreams, Yosef
Hatzadik immediately said, "Isn't God the interpreter of dreams?"
When he was asked to interpret Pharaoh's dreams, Yosef Hatzadik again said,
"This is beyond me. It is God Who will respond..."
The key is to feel Hashem's presence at all times, just as a husband and wife
are aware of each other at all times, even when they are not actively involved
with each other. After all, when we stood at Mount Sinai and accepted the
Torah, writes Rabbi Pincus z”l, we accepted that kind of relationship with
Hakodosh Boruch Hu. We should sense His presence not merely three times a day
during scheduled prayer times, but always, whether working in the kitchen,
doing business, or caring for children. Relationship with Hashem and
conversation with Him is 24/7. This relationship should cover all situations
regardless of the challenges. In the depths of the dungeon, Yosef Hatzadik
still knew God was with him. Can our situations be any more dire? We cannot blame
our environment for any lapse in our commitment to Hashem and Torah, cautions
us Rabbi Wolbe z”l.
When we can live on this level of faith, we derive an additional benefit, notes
the Ksav Sofer. If something negative happens, while we may feel pain
for a time, we do not remain depressed and despondent, for we know Hashem is
with us, supporting us. The Shechinah/Divine presence rested on Yosef
Hatzadik and he could interpret the dreams. Yosef Hatzadik must have remained
in a positive state in spite of his circumstances, for the Divine presence
rests only on one who is in a state of joy. Faith provides one with a sense of
calm and equanimity, for he knows Hashem is taking care of him. Yosef Hatzadik,
being taken down as a slave to Egypt, thanked Hashem for being with him; he
sensed Hashem's caress through the sweet smelling spices the merchants were
transporting instead of their usual foul smelling merchandise. The eyes of
Hashem are always on those who await His kindness (Tehillim 33). We too can
feel Hashem's eyes upon us if we sensitize ourselves to His presence in our
daily lives.
But Yosef Hatzadik was not only about his personal relationship with Hakodosh
Boruch Hu. He understood that his appearance and his mood affected others as
well. Therefore, Yosef Hatzadik made no excuses, writes Rabbi Shlomo Schwadron
z”l . Even in the prison, he regularly greeted everyone sincerely, so much so
that he noticed the change in the demeanor and mood of his fellow prisoners.
This Maggid of Jerusalem makes the analogy that a talmid chacham/one who
studies Torah, but is not pleasant to everyone is like a dish without salt,
tasteless and perfunctory.
How important is it to smile at others? It is life giving, even more than
providing passersby with water on a hot day, writes the Saba of Slabodka.
Rabbi Friefeld zt"l discusses this idea more fully. We are told that part
of our mission in this world is to emulate our Creator. Just as our Creator
gives life to all, so must we try to infuse a life force into others, to help
build the world together. Certainly, we cannot give life in the same sense as
the Creator of life, but we have the ability to invigorate others, to give them
back a sense of self and importance, writes Rabbi Wolbe z”l in Alei Shor.
How can we do that? Again, by emulating Hakodosh Boruch Hu. The verse says in Tehillim
80, "Haer panecha v'nevasheya/illuminate Your face that we may be
saved." We too can show a face lit up by a smile to others and invigorate
them. That smile is a validation of the other. Even a baby senses when someone
is smiling at him and smiles back, while he begins crying when he senses
someone's scowl, notes Rabbi Wolbe z”l. All human relationships crave
that validation, that smile of recognition, and Yosef Hatzadik was a master at
greeting others first and actually caring about their state of being. In fact,
our Sages make this a priority in human relationships, Shamai exhorting us to
greet every person with a pleasant countenance, and Rabbi Masya ben Charash
telling us to be the one to initiate the greeting.
Yosef Hatzadik is described as an ish matzliach. Grammatically speaking,
this is the causative form of being successful. In other words, rather than
Yosef Hatzadik being successful in his own right, he helped others achieve
success. When I show an interest in another, I am shining a light on him and
making his day better, writes Rabbi Menachem Mendel Zaks z”l in Menachem
Zion. To be successful, one must go outside oneself and be interested in
the other. Rabbi Scheinerman illustrates this point beautifully through
Yosef Hatzadik's own experiences. When Yosef Hatzadik tells his dreams to his
brothers, when he is the focus of attention, he begins the process of his own
downfall. In contrast, when he shows genuine interest in his other cellmates
and their dreams, he begins the process of his own salvation. When you help
others and give of yourself, you are giving also to yourself, notes Rabbi Druck
in Aish Tamid. Actually, the purpose we were created for is to help
others, writes Rabbi Yishai Rebo in Tocho Rotzuf Ahava. Halacha
itself bears out this truth. According to the Magen Avraham, if one has
minimal oil to light the Chanukah menorah and his friend has no oil, it is
preferable that he light only one candle each night and share his oil with his
friend so that both can kindle the light of Chanukah. A Jew helps his fellow
Jew carry the difficult burden alongside him.
Rabbi Salomon expands on this idea by citing the blessing Moshe Rabennu
bestowed on the Tribe of Yosef Hatzadik. Moshe Rabennu declares that Hashem
will bless Yosef Hatzadik's land and make it bountiful. But Moshe Rabennu here
refers to Hashem with an unusual designation, a name Moshe Rabennu has never
used before, "Shochnei sneh/ the One Who rested upon the thorn
bush." Moshe Rabennu understood that Yosef Hatzadik felt the pain of
others and provided for them through the years of famine. Through those difficult
years, Yosef Hatzadik drank no wine and separated from his family so that he
could identify with the pain of the people. This attribute was similar to that
of Hashem Who appeared to Moshe Rabennu for the first time specifically in the
thorn bush, indicating to Moshe Rabennu that He felt the pain of Bnei Yisroel's
enslavement and would come to their aid.
But the image of God suffering along with Bnei Yisroel precedes this vision.
Rabbi Wolbe z”l writes that our tradition says that during the entire era of
our enslavement, Hashem kept a brick in his sight to remind Himself of the
bricks Bnei Yisroel were forced to produce. At Mount Sinai, the elders saw the
vision of this brick in sapphire, and understood that the purpose of man, and the
purpose of Torah, is for men to feel connected to each other and to Hashem, and
to bear the burden, to feel the pain, and to shine our faces toward each other
as Hashem shines His face upon us. Success is not the goal, but becomes the
result of this process. Yosef Hatzadik achieved success in all he did because
he kept God always beside him while caring for others as he knew Hashem cared
for him.